Palm Trees California Native
"In Honolulu, Hawaii, there is a walled city protected by the gods and grimaces, surrounded by palm trees. It is called the City of Refuge, and back to the twelfth century. If you've been outlawed for political or religious reasons, or if you had been beaten in battle, you've been sentenced to death, but they gave you a chance to survive: If you did it to the City of Refuge in life, you were allowed to live within its walls. You had a good start running, but he had to swim the final leg.
To survive, you would have to be strong, but you also have been traumatized. To survive, you may need to unite with the other excluded, even if you might be coming entrenched camps. You should use your intelligence and strength to overcome your pursuers, but you may lose your sense of humanity in the process of hunting. Once inside the walls of the city, if you have done in life, you would have a package, perhaps for the first time. We must find a way to love, which would be difficult because most of you arrive broken. For lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgendered people, San Francisco is the city of refuge ".
- - Family Values, two moms and their son, Phyllis Burke, Random House
I'll tell you a part of my story how I came to San Francisco. Some years ago I was young, naive and lost in this strange place, I now call home. A little later, when my son Jesse was born, I was proud that he is a native San Franciscan because the Bay area was much more accepting than anywhere I lived elsewhere. Then the mother of Jesse others, Phyllis began to write a book about our family, because even in San Francisco It was difficult for families headed by same-sex parents to be legally recognized as parents of their own children. Since then, many has changed here, but in many places in this country and around the world, individuals perfectly well and are treated as family social and political outlaws religious, and so this city continues to be a city of refuge.
Although the details of my story may be different yours, your history is linked to mine. Everyone has a story about where they come from and how it was when they arrived here - A history of not wanting to sacrifice our ability to love and intimacy simply to please others. However, this experience not enough. Change and renewal are not only an initiation we go through once, making growth more unnecessary. Once found, we face the change, loss and rebirth of our lives.
Although our life may be a banquet to which we are asked every day, it may be easy for any simply not appear. A new menu each blade can be scary, a bit overwhelming, even painful. But at the end of the day, we had only two types pain - the pain of being present to ourselves or the pain of regret. So when you listen to you today, what do you mean? How do you know if the path you are using you to the success and integrity or apathy and despair? Find the company of others who care about these issues can be very valuable to help you find your own answers.
Talk to someone today. Send another person who you are and what you need. It will increase your own ability to be human. Take time for others and let others see us can really help to show us the outline of our own soul. It can help us through the sea of life on a liner instead of a boat. And it is so important because it takes a lifetime to become ourselves completely, again and again.
Cheryl Deaner, Marriage and Family Therapist, is in private practice in the Oakland and San Francisco areas of California. She can be reached at: Cheryl@cheryldeaner.com or visit her website at: http://www.Cheryldeaner.com
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